Monday, October 24, 2011

Oops.

You would think that after I gained 2kg last week that this week would be super dooper clean. That would be the sensible thing to do - get straight back into it and get rid of that extra weight. But I haven't been doing that.

I have had a hard time adjusting to having nothing to do. I have gone from 16-hour days stuck at my desk studying, with all this stress flowing through my body with 100 other things to do.... To being on holidays with absolutely no responsibilities aside from getting myself up in the morning and feeding the dogs. My days are empty and I have stupidly been filling them with eating. Emotionally I have had some pretty low moments. I was on a major high after we finished exams and now I have basically come crashing down, because there is really no other direction to go!

There was some boredum eating, some depressed eating, some "why not?!" eating... I really had fallen to pieces! I didn't even exercise for THREE DAYS! I was 'active', but not once did I put my HRM on during that time to put in a good session. It's just down right pathetic, considering I managed to find the time during all that study to go to the gym and now that I am home 24/7, I had been feeding myself stupid excuses like, "but the class I want to do isn't on during the day". SERIOUSLY? Since when are classes the only way to exercise?! Get your running shoes on and get out the door!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like I said, pathetic. 

So today I made the change. I hit the gym and did a back-to-back double of BodyPump and BodyAttack. Unfortunately I had to cut the BodyAttack short thanks to an inconvenient nose bleed about 40 minutes in! On a happier note, I upped my triceps weights tonight and it felt fine. A small achievement.

My workouts for the week are all planned out and I have gone from eating, eating, eating to having to force myself to get the 1200 cals in during the day.


Let's start again... 


Calories burned: 922

Thursday, October 20, 2011

I must be getting fitter

I worked my royal hiney off in Spin class this morning and yet only burned 578 cals! Pump last night I burned less than usual as well and all my other recent workouts have been harder to clock up the cals!

No fair! I should really take it as a good thing though!

Meanwhile... Quote of the day:

"Your legs should either dead or dying. Pick one"! -
my Spin instructor, while we were starting off on an 8-minute hill climb to finish the class.

Legs dead? Check!

Cals burned: 578


Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Feel the burn!

I went to BodyPump tonight instead of our usual swim to 'try out' a new instructor. I'm so glad I did - he was great! Unfortunately that puts me in a bit of a predicament, as I'm now torn between swimming and Pump!

The class felt awesome. I stuck with my previous weights and discovered that I am either stronger mentally and able to push through, or I am actually getting physically stronger! Maybe it's a combination of both, but I was able to complete the full tracks without stopping and doing the complete movements with full control. I remember when I struggled with 7.5kg for triceps! I couldn't even complete the whole track!


Squats: 5kg (=)
Chest: 7.5kg (=)
Back: 12.5kg (=)
Triceps: 5kg (=)
Biceps: 7.5kg (=)
Lunges: 12.5kg (=)
Shoulders: 3.75kg/arm (=)


So I think it's time to start upping the weights again! 
Squats: I think I can leave at 20kg and just try and get deeper in the squat (though I am already squatting past my knees for the slower squats - singles I just can't seem to get down fast enough!). 
Chest: I could probably increase. 
Back: I tried to increase and that was an epic fail!  
Triceps: I definitely think I could increase!
Biceps: I am going to leave these weights for a little while longer. I might be able to increase them but I can guarantee that I wouldn't be able to finish a track with heavier weights. I am only just getting there currently. 
Lunges: Definitely not going to increase. The level of burn is quite sufficient already! 
Shoulders: No need to increase - I really need to push hard! 

So next Pump class I will try - 
Squats: 15kg (=)
Chest: 10kg (+2.5kg)
Back: 12.5kg (=)
Triceps: 7.5kg (+2.5kg)
Biceps: 7.5kg (=)
Lunges: 12.5kg (=)
Shoulders: 3.75kg/arm (=)


Calories burned: 450
 

The verdict is in!

Exam week weight gain = 2.2kg! 

Wow... I am impressed I put on so much weight in 7 days! That is nutso.

Oh well, it'll be gone soon! No big deal! If anything it was a timely reminder of how much different my body looks at 73kg vs. 71kg and that I really don't want to settle for the low 70's!

Monday, October 17, 2011

Survived the Red Flag!

After the nutrition and calorie disaster over the exam peroid, I am now picking up the pieces. I will have gained a massive amount - I can see it! It's amazing how easy it is to put on weight compared to how much work it is to get rid of it! But like I said earlier, I have accepted the consequences of my actions and I'm back on track!

This morning we had a really lovely champagne breakfast put on for us to celebrate finishing our degree. It was beautiful and so great to catch up with everyone again after exams. Food-wise it was not so good with only one dish being served - scrambled eggs, spinach, roast tomato, a massive pile of bacon on a piece of buttered sour dough bread. Great. I am proud that I only ate the eggs, spinach and tomato and had a very small piece of the bread. I also didn't drink any champagne, nor did I drink anything other than water when we went to a cafe afterwards to continue catching up.

For lunch I ate something really light (chicken noodle soup), knowing that I really had no idea how many calories I had just eaten! You never know what they put in the eggs! And then I went to the gym tonight and smashed out 950 calories with a 3km run and RPM.

Today I am feeling GOOD! I think I need to revisit the pre-season tasks just to really make sure I am back on track.

Bring on the next 6 weeks!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

FINISHHHHHHHHHHHHED!!!

I finished my exams today! I can't believe it! It was a stressful 3 weeks and I am not happy with some of the food choices I made in the last few days - reverting back to old habits... BUT I survived and I am happy to accept the consequences of my decisions. I am very proud of the fact that I kept up the exercise!

Now that it is all over my mood has now completely changed - I feel FREE! I am elated and deliriously happy! I can't believe it! 8 years of uni and it's all finished!

Tonight is a massive red flag... The post-exam party... Free drinks, free food... And if I'm being honest, I have absolutely no intention of reigning myself in. Then again, I'm not one to get totally smashed in the first place, but I am going to have a drink (I haven't had any alcohol for about a year!). It's time to celebrate!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeei!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I'm off to the gym to work off all that adrenaline! 

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Healthy procrastination

... And not so healthy eating. 

My nutrition has taken a real dive the last few days. There was binging. And so much refined sugar that I felt ill. I don't know what happened... One minute I was going SO well and the the next minute I had lost control and everything fell apart. I think the stress of the exams got to me on a subconscious level - I thought I was dealing with it okay! And then I guess I just reverted back to old habits of stuffing my face while studying. 

I have one more day left of study before my final exam. I am determined to make it squeaky clean. There will be absolutely NO pre-prepared food. It will all be fresh. Salad, eggs, fruit, vegetables. That's it. Nothing will come out of a package. That is the challenge and I will stick to it.

On a happier note, my exercise has been going really well. It makes for excellent procrastination! I did two sessions today - Pump this morning and Combat tonight. Tonight's Combat was absolutely HORRIBLE. How on earth did Combat go from my favourite Les Mills to something that felt like a cruel and unusual punishment? I used to LOVE the awesome cardio workout, constantly needing to push myself harder during the class and the awesome music and moves... But the last two classes have just been terrible! I don't feel like I'm working out at all, the instructors have been DE-motivating or trying too hard and the music has been cringeful! I don't think I was the only one - two people actually walked out during the class! So I will be avoiding those instructors like the plague and hoping that I get third time lucky and things go back to normal!

Total cals burned: 1050

What do you do when you can't sleep?

You go to Pump class! 

6am Pump... 456 cals gone.

Squats 15kg (=)
Chest 7.5kg (=)
Back 15kg (+2.5kg - this was a bit too much for the double clean and press we were doing this morning!)
Triceps 5kg (=)
Biceps 7.5kg (=)
Lunges 15kg (=)
Shoulder 3.75kg/arm (=)

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

I Heart DOMS

I remember my first ever Pump class - I was in a world of pain for about a week afterwards! I couldn't walk up stairs, I could hardly lift my arms... And I think I only used 7.5kg weights for the whole class (bar + 1.25kg per side). That was many, many years ago now!

It has been a lonnng time since I remember getting sore from a pump class. It's hard to know if it's just that my body is used to it or maybe I am not working hard enough in the class! But today I'm feeling it! Oooooh yeahhhhh!

I had planned to go for a run this morning and a swim tonight, but I decided to skip the run. I am learning to listen to my body and I know that if I run today it will not only feel horrible but I will be putting unncessary strain on my body. I'm learning that recovery days are just as important as the full-on days.


Tuesday, October 11, 2011

It's almost over!

One more exam to go! I have a few days break and then I'll be freeeeeee!

I have had a few issues with my food the last few days, but I have been really smashing it out in the gym so hopefully it won't make too much of an impact! I haven't had any binges, I just haven't been eating at normal times or really focusing on my nutrition. This whole week is really a right off - my whole life gets turned upside down and I am using exercise as my anchor.

After my mini-milestone, I actually took the Sunday off (GASP!). I was going to do an active recovery session but the universe was speaking to me and when I got to yoga it was full. So I took it as a sign that I should have a rest day.

Monday I hit the gym after my exam and did a 4.3km run (a little over my 'restriction') and a 2.5km walk while I was waiting for yoga class. The run felt really good and I just couldn't resist going that little bit farther!

Calories burned: 753

Tonight I went to BodyCombat and BodyPump and did the new releases. I am NOT a fan of the Combat release, which is really disappointing! It is my favourite Les Mills class and now I think I would even prefer Attack! Pump was great though! I LOVE the new release! I kept with the increased weights again and had a great session!

Squats 15kg (=)
Chest 7.5kg (=)
Back 12.5kg (=)
Triceps 5kg (=)
Biceps 7.5kg (=)
Lunges 15kg (=)
Shoulder 3.75kg/arm (+1.25kg)

Calories burned: 659 + 470 = 1129

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Stay awaaaaay from the kitchen!

It is less than 48 hours before my final exams start... Usually I would be surrounded with food to help me keep my head in the books, however this year is different!

Even though I smashed out over 2000 calories at the gym this morning I am NOT mildlessly eating crap for the sake of it! Sure, the temptation is there and as the stress levels rise, the urge to go into the kitchen is growing as well. But I am standing my ground. I have allowed myself some extra snacks instead of a 'treat meal' but it was a conscious decision and the calories have been accounted for.

I have had the odd energy drink (low carb) to keep me going for the last few days, but when you are putting in daily 12-hour+ study sessions for two weeks straight, it's a struggle to go caffeine-free! I'm surprised I lasted as long as I did!

For now, I need to get back to the study and JFDI! Not long to go now and soon enough I will be able to relax!

Mini-Milestone SMASHED!

What an awesome way to start the weekend!!!!! 

When I woke up this morning, I really wasn't feeling it. I was tired after having trouble getting to sleep and I felt a little unwell. BUT, I just went into robot-mode and got ready for the gym.

First up was BodyCombat! At this point I wasn't sure whether I would even make it through the first class! I felt a little 'off', but decided that it was probably just something I could push through (thankfully I was right!). I did lessen the intensity a little compared to my normal Combat sessions and it also helped that the instructor switched up some of the tracks to some that I find less challenging.

Next was BodyPump! I decided to challenge myself seeing as I had taken it a little easier in Combat. I upped the weights on several of the tracks and really forced myself to keep going at times that I would normally have stolen a sneaky break! It felt REALLY good! All this tricep work must be helping because for the first time I did the entire track without wanting to have a break, even though I increased the weights!

Squats 15kg (=)
Chest 7.5kg (=)
Back 12.5kg (+10kg)
Triceps 5kg (+2.5kg)
Biceps 7.5kg (=)
Lunges 12.5kg (=)
Shoulder 2.5kg/arm (=)
Abs 5kg (=)


I took a short break after Pump to rehydrate and eat a banana before heading off into the cardio room...

I started with a 4km run at 10km/hr. I would have loved to have done my initial 8km plan, but physio's orders! The run felt amazing - probably the best I've felt in a long time!

Next was a 20km ride. I set it to 4+ effort level and sat at 80-100rpm. I was determined to finish under 50 minutes and I did... at 48:57!

And finally a 2000m row, completed in 8:59! The last 500m was a bit of a struggle, but I just pushed through!

I then hit the weight machines to do my Physio homework and finished up with a nice stretching session.

What a workout!! All up, it took 4 hours!

Calories burned: 
BodyCombat: 610
BodyPump: 430
4km run: 400
20km ride: 520
2000m row: 120
Weights + stretching: 70

Total Calories burned: 2150

And now I have this BodyCombat music playing over and over in my head while I'm about to do some study. Lovely!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Relaxed!

I just had my first BodyBalance class. I really enjoyed it! It is totally different to my 'normal' training sessions - no sweating, no yelling, no heavy breathing... I am still having a bit of a giggle now at what the instructor said to me at the start of the class - "BodyBalance is fast paced"... Not compared to Attack and Combat, it's not!!! I do still feel like I've had a workout today, but obviously the calories burned were quite less than usual! That's okay though - I'm preparing myself for tomorrow's epic training session. I worked out that it is going to take me approximately 4.5 hours! Youch! So I am carb loading today and I will be taking some sustenance to the gym tomorrow to help me get through it.

Meanwhile, I now have to wake myself up and do some more study!

Calories burned: 200


Thursday, October 6, 2011

New Record!

I hit the gym tonight - BECAUSE I CAN! I am SO excited about the membership! I was allowing myself a single casual visit each week for SSS, but now I can rock up to the gym any time I want! Multiple times a day! And it's costing me LESS per week than a single visit was! Yeaaaaaaaah!

So what did I do at the gym? BODYCOMBAT!!! My favourite class! It wasn't with the awesome instructor dude, but knowing that I didn't have two classes to follow made me really smash it out! My arms are sore and I feel awesome!

It paid off too, with a PB calorie burn of 700 calories for that class! Wooooooo! I was tempted to follow it up with a spin class, but decided that I shouldn't push it considering how I've been feeling lately and because of the big event on the Saturday... Mini-Milestone time!!!

Tomorrow I'm going back and trying out BodyBalance for the first time... Hopefully I'll find it nice and relaxing!

Calories burned: 724

Good news!!!

I am allowed to run 4km!!!!!!! 

I know, it's not that much different to my 3km restriction, but it's something to celebrate!

I've also been instructed to do some eccentric hamstring work at the gym (15 x 3 reps), which is good timing seeing as my gym membership starts today! Yaaaaay!  

I'm going to BodyCombat tonight, so I will start the hami weights after the class and see how I go.

On a side note, I think I worked out why I haven't been feeling so great lately. I think I'm coming down with a cold. Bugger! It's not the best timing with exams coming up next week, but I just have to keep chipping away with the study and exercise and hope that it doesn't all come crashing down until AFTER exams! Fingers crossed...

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Week 4 Weigh-in & Fitness Test

We are a third of the way through the 12 Week Body Transformation and I am LOVING my body right now! The last few days I have been shocked at the image looking back at me in the mirror! It's amazing what a few kilos disappearing can do! I have never been this slim in my life and I can't wait to get to my goal weight! Only 4.3kg to go!

This morning was a busy one with weigh-in, measurements, photos and the rest of my fitness test (followed by a full workout).

Weight: 71.3kg (-1.9kg!) 
Total loss since pre-season 12WBT: 6kg
Total loss since November 2010: 12.9kg (15.3% loss)

I've also lost 7cm in the last 4 weeks and 37cm since the beginning of pre-season! There aren't too many more cm's to lose!

Fitness Test Results:
1km speed test - 5min 00sec (+29 seconds)
Wall sit duration - 6min 37sec (+3min 2sec)
Sit-ups - Stage 5 (=)
Push-ups in 1 minute - 46 (knees); 23 (toes) (+2)
Flexibility +10cm (+3cm)
Resting HR: 48bpm


I have improved in all areas except for the sit-ups (already at the maximum level) and the 1km speed test. For some reason I have been really struggling with running lately. I'm not sure what it is! I feel exhausted after 500m and I just can't get myself going! I really pushed myself this morning in the 1km sprint and I know I was working hard (my HR went to 229!!!) but my time just didn't reflect how hard I was working. I wonder if my body is just really fatigued or whether my nutrition is off. It could be that I am just mentally exhausted from all the study I have been doing. Either way, I can't say that I'm not disappointed by my time, but over all I am really happy with the improvements.


Calories burned: 560 (morning workout) + 260 (light evening swim) = 810

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

JFDI!

I was feeling really slack today. I'm not sure why! Studying wasn't a problem - I actually did more study today than I have in the last few days put together! But I had absolutely zero desire to train. I was feeling tired, slow and I don't know, depressed? I think being stuck in the house studying is doing my head in! All my training sessions for the last few days have been indoors and the only adventures outside have been to hang out the washing! Tomorrow I definitely need to get some sun!

I was on the verge of not doing a training session today until I had a look at my Polar Personal Trainer diary and being the competitive person that I am, I knew that if I didn't train, there would be a massive hole in my October calendar! I was aiming to train every day in October (rest days with active recovery sessions) and if I stopped now, I would have ruined it!

So, I trained.

It was hard to get the body moving initially, but after 2 minutes I was totally fine! I ended up doing a Nike Training Club workout (Fit Zone) and then to get to 500 calories, I continued with the jump rope while I watched TV. I looooooove jump rope!

I am so glad I pushed myself... Like they say, you never regret a workout!

Calories burned: 550

A reason to change

I heard a quote earlier today and it really rang true...

"If you do what you've always done, you will get what you've always got"

This was just what I needed, not only for help to get my butt into gear for studying but also because I had a slight urge to binge today - the first for quite a while. I managed to haul my butt back upstairs and do something more productive than eat! And I am SO proud of myself!

Monday, October 3, 2011

Feeling better!

After guzzling a few litres of water throughout the day, I stopped feeling like I was going to pass out, so I decided to do a light training session this afternoon.

I hopped on the treadmill (I didn't want to go outside for a run just in case I couldn't make it home!) and ran 3km at 11km/hr with a 30 second break every 500m - just taking it easy! The run didn't feel that great, but I didn't feel unwell at any point, which is good! I actually felt like running for a few more km, but because of my running restriction I was a good girl and stopped and did some jump rope instead.

I was about to do a Nike Training Club workout when I decided to see if I could smash out a wall sit as part of my Week 4 Fitness Test. So I got my iPhone and started some music, set the timer and just sat back and tried to think of something else! My quads were starting to burn a little, so I checked the time... 2:30... I put the phone away and tried to distract myself some more.... Another peep at 4:00... Only 1 minute until my week 4 goal! I knew if I really pushed myself I could get there! By the time 5:00 came by, I had pushed past the pain barrier. My legs were tired, but basically numb. I kept going until I physically couldn't hold myself up anymore... After 6 minutes and 37 seconds! I can't believe it! I really didn't think that I would meet my 5-minute goal and I absolutely SMASHED it! All those squats, lunges and killing myself in BodyPump with heavy weights in the leg tracks must be working! I am thrilled!

I was on a high, so I decided to see if I could get to my other non-running goal for week 4 - 20 toe pushups in a row. It was painful, but I got there! I really struggle with pushups and I'm not sure why. I know that I am stronger in my upper body since I started, but I'm just not seeing the amount of progress I want. Then again, I do spend a LOT of time doing leg work and very little time doing upper body work in comparison. So maybe I need to change things up a bit and add some more upper body work to my training sessions.

I will be finishing the rest of my Week 4 Fitness Test on Wednesday. 

Calories burned: 550

12WBT Round 3 Bloggers Challenge - Find the Joy

Week 3's blogging challenge is to Find The Joy!

The goal is to list as many non-food self-nurturing things that bring us joy... To count our blessings.

So here we go...

1. Being with friends and family
2. Playing and training with my dogs
3. RUNNING!!! And the absolute joy I feel after a run!
4. A hot shower after a hard workout!
5. Long bush walks
6. Enjoy an afternoon outside in the sun and feeling the warmth on my face
7. Morning cuddles with the dogs
8. Having an awesome day out doing dog sports
9. Listening to music
10. Smashing myself in the gym! I absolutely love the feeling after I have worked my butt off!
11. Photography
12. Movies - whether I'm at the cinema or at home on the couch
13. The feeling I get when I know I have made the most of the day!
14. Being organised... I know it sounds silly, but I love it!
15. My work. I absolutely love what I do and every day I get to make a difference. I am so privileged to have a career doing something I enjoy!

Not feeling so great...

I'm feeling a little bit off today - lightheaded and spaced-out. I think if I tried to do a training session right now, I would probably faint.

I'm hoping it's just my low blood pressure so I'm drinking lots of fluids and resting. With any luck I'll feel better in a few hours and I'll be able to put in a light training session this afternoon.

Fingers crossed.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

A Change...

Yesterday I had a massive realisation about myself... My taste buds have changed.

After my SSS, I went grocery shopping and as I was walking past the butcher I saw some chicken and sweet corn sausages. I thought they sounded interesting, so I bought one for my 'treat meal'. As soon as I started cooking and watching the fat seep out of the sausage, I was having second thoughts. It did not look very appetising! I decided that I would try a small piece and if it tasted horrible, I wouldn't eat it... I should've trusted my instincts. It was DISGUSTING! All that grease and fat... Ugh! I couldn't even stand to look at it! Needless to say, the dogs enjoyed their 'treat'!

So I whipped up a nice salad with fat free dressing and sat outside enjoying it in the sun. Perfect!

It's amazing how after 7 weeks of clean eating, my body just does not want or need any of the old foods I used to think were nice! I can't stand the thought of eating chips, sausages, potato crisps, anything fried... All I crave now is fresh vegetables, stirfries, fruit and protein!

I'm glad I bought that sausage - I learned a lot from the experience and now I will be planning my 'treat meals' as something that is healthy for me, that I will actually enjoy, rather than simply choosing a meal that's high in calories just I can! 

Meanwhile, OAF and I did an active recovery session today in the pool. I swam 1500m over the course of an hour. It was a lovely way to spend the afternoon!

Calories burned: 380

Saturday, October 1, 2011

SSS!

Wow... I am feeling pretty tired and beat up right now! I did my usual SSS today, but I wasn't feeling as 'fresh' as usual!

ABF, OAF and I did a late night training session last night (8pm-10pm) of Michelle Bridge's toning DVD followed by an hour of "Just Dance 2" on Wii. I never realised what a good workout you could have with a dance game! It was absolutely hilarious but a lot of fun! A nice change from my usual workouts! I was a bit disappointed with Mish's DVD - I only burned 250 calories, which is pretty pathetic for 45 minutes work! Even my toning sessions with Nike Training Club burn about 400 cals. By the end of the Mish's workout though, it was a struggle to 'dance' with my arms! Thanks Mish!

On top of that, I didn't get much sleep. I was still on a high even by the time the girls left so I decided to stay up and watch a TV series on DVD for a couple of hours. That meant I only had 5 hours sleep before hitting the gym...

BodyCombat today was so much better than last week. Our usual instructor was back and it certainly makes a difference with him there! He really pushes you to dig deep and give all you've got! I absolutely adore the class and it makes for a great stress reliever! I can do the whole class now without feeling uncoordinated and I have learned all the tracks and their combinations, so it is getting much easier to put 100% into the movements rather than work out what you're actually supposed to be doing!

BodyPump was great! It was with the same instructor as Combat and I enjoyed the class that little bit more! He really does make you push yourself and the class is really enjoyable! I knew that Pump was going to be a bit of a struggle after last night so I decided to go easy on the arm tracks. I really pushed myself in the leg tracks though!

Squats 15kg (=)
Chest 2.5kg (-5kg)
Back 5kg (-5kg)
Triceps 2.5kg (=)
Biceps 5kg (-2.5kg)
Lunges 12.5kg (=)
Shoulder 2.5kg/arm (=)
Abs 5kg (=) 

BodyAttack was a struggle. I'm getting a bit sick of the class actually - I'm not a massive fan of aerobics style movements - I would rather be doing something functional rather than bouncing up and down! I still did it though, but I think this will be one of my last weeks - I will look for something else a little more 'me'.

Calories burned: 
BodyCombat: 650
BodyPump: 400
BodyAttack: 500 

Total calories burned: 1568

My Polar Personal Trainer diary is now yelling at me not to exercise for two days... Sorry! I will be training whether you like it or not! Tomorrow is an active recovery session (swimming) and Monday will be back to business! 

I am currently planning my Week 4 Mini-Milestone workout. My current thoughts are to do my usual SSS triple class and backing it up with the 8km run, 20km ride and a 2000m row. It might sound a little insane, but considering I do the triple class every week, I figure I really need to do something extra on top of it! I won't be stupid about it though - If I do decide to go ahead with that plan, I won't be doing anything strenuous on the Friday - just a very light BodyBalance class and if I am about to fall off the equipment, I will stop!